Unique personalised birthday cards

(A dog’s personalised view of life)

Here at adoptajellybaby.com we hope to give you more to remember us apart from personalised birthday and Christmas greetings cards. We value your custom and taking time out of our day.
I have had many requests to write a blog of my day to day life, alas I only get time to “blog” once a week. The rest of my time is taken up with our babies go to the right client first time every time. As you know every jelly baby is individually chosen and placed on our handmade cards for your birthday or other happy occasions.

Four on the floor.

(A dog’s personalised view of life)

Tuesday, 24th May 2011

Henrietta the hamster

My extreme apologies to one and all, I forgot my blog password and somehow His lordship had deleted my word document link on the screen saver and so rendering me up a paddle without a creek.

What a week it has been, everyone seems to be like the provable headless chicken running around blindly getting nowhere very fast. Have you ever noticed time rushes explosively and before one knows it there is a new week biting your bum?

On the subject of biting and bums, I see the powers that be have once again fallen on their ass with a wonderfully foolish idea for us canines with enforced insurance and compulsory “tagging”.
Okay gang, till now I have been noted for ridiculing my Master and we all know He deserves it. Now at the risk of upsetting the apple cart I have never commented on those who can’t respond here on my blog, but I must voice my anger, nay outrage regarding the “concerns about the use of animals to intimidate or threaten people.” Let’s be honest you humans are only talking about us dogs, after all how may “Billy the budgie or Henrietta the hamster’s” have been known to associate themselves with lager slugging, foul mouth geriatric’s bent on forging their way to the front of the post office counter on pension day? “None, I hear you say, it’s dog that need to be controlled!”

I can understand where you are all coming from on this one and up to a point I am all for the proposal, but before we go ahead with this I would like to highlight a few things.

Insurance in the event of an accident is to me a good idea if it’s for ones car in the event of said accident or per chance stolen, or house and content insurance to cover the invasion from your local thief / thug or the old cliché “Act of God” a flood due to mans impact on the world’s fragile climate, (can you see where I’m going with this?). What you don’t have is insurance to pay out in the event either you or one of your family bites another species because you “loss it” when they happened to piss you off, so you snapped at them.

For the first of the above there are more companies fighting for your custom then you can shake your car keys at, alas however when it comes to the latter the total can be counted on no hands, i.e. nil, zip, zero or to put it bluntly bugger all!

I am sure if and when such a law were to be placed on the statue books there will be companies fighting to “cover” every dog in the land and good luck to them. Three things come to mind, 1) the annual premium would be at such a level that little old men and ladies may have to either go without some vital basic requirement combined with the cost of “chipping” their trusted and loving companion or break the law. 2) The person likely to have a “trained” dog whatever the breed be will neither chip nor insure his pouch. Furthermore no insurance company is going to cover such dogs and their owners thus rendering them out of the system. 3) There is currently no stand-alone third-party insurance cover for the owners of dangerous dogs and no desire by insurance industry to provide cover against this very high.

I, like the majority of house hold dogs are only a danger to you if you happen to be a bowl of food and such you are history or a threat to our loved ones and in the event of an uninvited intruder to My home its best you look out!

Till the next time ... “Vote for me and I’ll set you free!”

Salvador

Thursday, 5th May 2011

Little baby pigeons

I know, no blog last week, I am ever so sorry!
Had so much celebrating to do, what with my VICTORY for all us dogs nationwide and common sense with regards to insurance and “tagging”..... Isn’t great to be on the winning side?
I must give His lordship a big thank you for badgering the Rt Honourable Mister on behalf of yours truly; it’s nice to have friends in high places. Please note there was no payment of any kind, at any time made to the said Rt Honourable in return for his lobbing the incumbent that may or may not have taken place. However I have it on good authority that failure to comply would have resulted in a long walk to and from the train station. No pressure there then! “Power to the masses, my fellow beings.... We won”!

Well it’s here Officially, Spring that is! The birds are building their nest in the tree at the top end of the garden, just by the compost heap and soon we shall have little baby pigeons calling out to their mummy and daddy to feed them, time after time.... I do heat the buggers, if only I could get hold of them... calm down Salvador, it only nature and soon they will be big enough to leave the nest. At this point they tend to land in my garden, but not for long as I am ready for the little blighters... He! He! He! :)

While we are on the subject of my garden, He has had a new room built on the opposite side of the garden, His lord and master calls it a shed. Let’s not beat about the bush here and not call a spade an agricultural item to me it looks like a glorified almighty wooden box with windows and a door. He can call it whatever He likes, it’s big and it’s in my space and I don’t think it should be there without first consulting me, I never get to have a say in matters that affect me... I am a no one, a dog, what rights do I have? And here’s another thing, I shall not, nay never be given permission to set foot in His workshop. The miserable old slug! where does He get off, telling me where I can and cannot go? If it’s in my garden it belongs to me and I can do what I want when I want.

The shed has been up for almost a week and so far the old fart has only looked at the monumental wooden monolith, “it’s all in the planning, Salvador”, He keeps telling me... “Planning, planning, planning. You can’t have enough planning”. I have seen more action from a dried up old slug then I've ever seen from Himself!
I have however seen, when He get around to it, the colour He intends to paint the box... a sickly dark green colour, my Master insists it is “sage” and ”a wood stain not pain that is also a wood preservative” WHATEVER! Another thing, there is another colour proposal to this “other room” in so far as that the window frames will be stained the same turquoise as the fence at the back of the garden, also the interior cross sections

Salvador

Tuesday, 19th April 2011

Vain attempt to retrieve !

Is it me or do all humans tend to leave a mess once they have finished cooking? He is, I am unfailingly informed a very if not wonderful cook with the ability to summon up from nowhere a gastronomic cuisine fit for the best in the land while using the simplest of ingredients.

aside it’s no excuse for what is best described as a home unfit for any self respecting bacteria wishing to set up home for him and his family. Does He not know that age old mantra “clean as you go?” Sadly the old fart fails to understand it is best to tidy up after each session in the kitchen and if not able to do so, how about first thing the following morning and not when you’ve run out of every clean utensil in the home. He has been seen rummaging at the sink making even more mess in a vain attempt to retrieve a lost used spoon only to end up inflicting pain and getting blood everywhere having just found a un washed razor sharp peeling knife. I have no compassion or comfort for the pickled onion of a bipod. Servers Him right.

“The tree may have been shaken, but sadly no fruit has fallen”, is the best I can say! Having piled high every useful pot, pan, knife, fork and spoon found at the back of the draw, used then dumped. He then wastes every Sunday morning from prior The Archers (Broadcasting House Radio 4) to way passed and beyond Desert Island Disc. Not too happy with Kirsty Young, Bring back Sue Lawley all is forgiven!

The food He produces’ is wonderful, in fact His curries as I have stated before in not so many words are to die for. I love that tingly feeling I get after a bowl of beef Madras and basmati rice...Lovely stuff!

Well as you can see from the date above I am a day late in posting this blog for this I am heartily sorry. I can only point the paw at my lord and Master for my delay. He had been due to be away all yesterday afternoon but his meeting was deferred to a later date and so I had a moaning balding flat footed old bipod pottering around the stately home doing nothing. It would have gone down well for Him to just go out somewhere for the afternoon if only to give me some space combined with peace and quiet. No such luck and by the end of the day he failed to attack the content for the kitchen sink..... Messy man!

Living in hope
Salvador

Monday, 28th March 2011

Right here, Right Now!

Let me state right here and now.....

I am not at fault;
I was only trying to get HIS attention. It was not very warm, in fact the temperature had dropped to near zero and I had been locked out in the garden.

Yes! You heard me correctly; I said LOCKED out in the mid day freezing cold, and when you only have short legs like yours truly certain parts of one’s anatomy tend to be too close to the frosty ground for comfort, I’ll have you know. And I cannot hear anyone indoors.

Barking after all is the only way of me attracting “His” attention
However it seems that the “so and so” had gone to the post office for a few stamps... “What about me! I shall be okay in this freezing cold while he wonders off without any consideration for me”

Mrs “H” from over the back, (such a nice lady) was trying to have some “chill out time” after a hard day's work looking after the old ladies and gents on our road... what a wonderful job she does., but my constant yapping was not going down well with her, so it seems.

Turns out that when "His Lordship" got back from picking up his stamps combined a stop over to natter to his buddy Mike on His return. They have been known to spend forever putting the world to right... silly old farts!

Meanwhile Mrs “H” was waiting for Him, (she was not a happy bunny by the sound of it) and boy oh boy! did he get a mouth full for leaving me outside all alone on such a cold day…. I could hear Mrs “H” shouting at Him. He! He! He! He!

Salvador

Monday, 7th March 2011

Mind the step PLEASE!

That’s it, I have had enough ... it’s time to have Him locked up and the key thrown away! It has to be the best thing we can do for Him. The man has gone and “pushed the envelope” of reality just that much too far.

I know, I hear you ask... What am I kicking off for? Well let me tell you everything.
There I was on Sunday night taking “five” snug in my arm chair when suddenly and without any warning what so ever there was this almighty crash followed in quick succession by a very loud bang and ending in a string of four lettered expletives. The old fart had fallen over His own two feet while carrying his supper on a try from the kitchen.He needs help, all He can get if you ask me.

Supper went to the East of the kitchen passed the radiator followed by His lordship, while at the same time knocking the clotheshorse in a Southey direction just missing impinging its self on the sink taps. Laying there prostrate with His stuffed vine leaves, humus and pita half on the plate and the remainder on the floor I felt it best to stay cool and do the best thing. Hide!it normally works.

I have stated here once before that humans must find it hard with only two legs to rely on and this is the result. He took a fall and went to bed in pain and I had his supper. Tell me He is the smart one, why don’t you ?
Silly old fart.

Have a wonderful day and do remember us pets.

Salvador